Successful Strategies for Moving On after a Divorce

In the aftermath of a divorce, it can be easy to get stuck in a rut. You may, rightfully, feel a tremendous sense of loss or failure. Here are some suggestions to help you turn your divorce into a positive event in your life:

• Take time to get to know yourself again—Often, in an attempt to keep a marriage together, parties will give up many of the things they love for the sake of harmony. Sometimes, you can even lose touch with the activities that feed you. Now’s the time to reacquaint yourself with those things that feed your passion.
• Be open to new things—After a divorce, you don’t have to please anyone except yourself (though you do need to take care of your minor children). If there’s a new way of doing things that works better for you, now’s the time to give it a try.
• Don’t live in the past—You can learn from the past, but you have to live in the present. Continually revisiting what went wrong or who did what to whom only keeps you stuck in the past, where you can’t possibly find any happiness. Let bygones be bygones and move forward.
• Don’t keep it all in—Frequently, the principal cause of a divorce is an unwillingness to be open and honest in your communication. It may be too late to apply that to your marriage, but you can turn over a new leaf, so that future relationships start on more solid ground. If you have minor children, keeping open lines of communication can be critical. Be careful, though, that you don’t use your children as sounding boards for any complaints you have about your ex. That doesn’t benefit anyone.